If you have ever bullied someone, spare a few minutes to read this story. And even then if you don’t feel the pain, you were born with an iron heart.
Everything is fun till the joke is on someone else? Is it not? Is it not why we find it so easy to mock people for the way they are — fat, dark, short, squint, bald, too loud or too meek…the list of reasons why we mock people around us can travel to Pluto and back. It’s sad. Our heart bleeds while we recall this incident, but it’s important to bring it to your notice because no one deserves to die because of someone else’s false sense of ego, dominance and supremacy.
Daniel Fitzpatrick is the latest victim of bullying. Actually he was! The 13-year-old New Yorker committed suicide after he was ruthlessly bullied at his school — an institution where childhood is nurtured and not butchered. At least that’s what every parent believes when they send their children to school every day. Daniel’s family member shared his final note on Facebook to raise awareness about the factor that killed their son. You can read it here.
Daniel had written this letter two week before killing himself, so it would be foolish to say that the child took a hasty decision. Indeed he was troubled. His mom told media that Danny was scared of his teachers and none of them came to his rescue even though they knew what was happening. Instead all of them laughed at him and added their bit to the humiliation.
Daniel’s is not the only case. There are tons of them. Google if you have the courage to, because we don’t.
Why do people bully?
Because they feel insecure: Reshma Valliappan, a mental health activist, suggests that most bullies are unaware of the fact that their actions can be detrimental to another individual. Low self esteem, says Valliappan, fuels the desire to control another person. "In such a situation, the child desires to place authority over someone else, in order to find his own identity," she told Mumbai Mirror.
What makes you an easy target?
Weakness, in any form, always makes for an easy target, says Dr Madhuri Singh, consulting psychiatrist and family counsellor at Nanavati Hospital. It’s ok to have some sort of weakness but no one can put you down for it. PERIOD!
What the schools must do?
While most schools are strict in their policy towards bullying, some are also beginning to institute anti-bullying programmes. After initiating these programmes, they should also be studied on a regular basis to ensure that they are functioning according to the norms and are helping students. These need to involve the PTA as well as moms and dads.
How to bully-proof yourself?
- Don’t let anyone shout at you. May be the only people who can talk to you at high pitch are your parents, certainly not the classmates.
- No one has the right to disapprove your choices constantly. Bullies have this habit of constantly telling you that all your choices are wrong. Such people are best avoided.
- Don't be ashamed to tell someone about what's going on. It helps big time to share your pain. Speak to someone who you think would listen and understand you.
- If the bullying is affecting your health, consult your family physician
- Confront if you have to: Don’t let your silence be your weakness. You need to stand for yourself.
- Only if you can, talk to the person in question as they may not realise how their behaviour has affected you.
With inputs from Mumbai Mirror and The Times Of India
Have you ever been bullied? Would you like to share ways in which bullies can be checked? Tell us. It can right a lot of wrongs. It's needed.