There’s no question that body language is important. And, according to motivational speaker and writer Leil Lowndes, in her book ‘How To Talk To Anyone,’ you can capture – and hold – anyone’s attention without even saying a word. Here are the best body language techniques from the book
Sticky Eyes
“Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s with sticky warm taffy,” Lowndes advises. Even after they’ve finished speaking, don’t break eye contact. “When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string finally breaks.” It will help you appear more insightful. But make sure you don’t stare, just look.
Epoxy Eyes
In a group of people, you should watch the person you are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If you concentrate on that person even when they are simply listening, you show that you are extremely interested in his or her reactions. This also helps the person you are talking to trust you more.
The Big-Baby Pivot
People are very conscious of how you react to them. When you meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the same, undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says, “Pivoting 100 per cent towards the new person shouts, ‘I think you are very, very special.’” When people feel valued, they value others and that is the starting point of solid friendships.
The Flooding Smile
“Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone,” says Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of sight would receive that same smile. Instead, pause and look at the other person’s face for a second, and then let a “big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes.” Even though the delay is less than a second, it will convince people your smile is sincere and personalised for them.
Limit the Fidget
If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much when your conversation really matters. “Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch,” Lowndes says. Frequent hand motions near your face can give your listener the feeling that you’re lying or anxious. Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the listener and show them that you’re fully concentrated on the matter at hand.
Hang By Your Teeth
This visualisation trick will help you look more confident with your posture, which Lowndes describes as “your biggest success barometer.” To do this, visualise a leather bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Pretend that you are taking a bite on the dental grip, and let it sweep your cheeks into a smile and lift you up. This trick works very well in social life.
Hello, Old Friend
When you first meet someone, imagine they’re your old friend. According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious reactions in your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes. It is also a self-fulfilling prophecy: you might really start to like them!
