You remember what it feels like: sitting across from the two of them, knowing you've done something off. One's disappointed; the other's tired of having to say it over and over again. You slink away to your room and bury your nose in a magazine. When they think you've had enough time, they sit at the edge of your bed, and say, "Mama, please don't post a message on our Facebook pages ever. And, never tag us in anything." You nod submissively, but, deep in your heart, you know those are not your children talking - it's the TV! It's got to be.
Your teens aren't embarrassed by you. You aren't stodgy like your parents were. They've seen this in episodes of Orange County, One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl and Awkward. They are simply re-enacting. If that's what you think, guess what? You're right. A 2010 Dartmouth Medical School study showed that parents who restricted R-rated movies, in which teens are frequently shown drinking, actually managed to counteract the peer pressure that typically prompts them to experiment with alcohol.
In the meantime, all you can do is try and understand where they are coming from. This generation, if nothing else, is surprisingly smart. Listen in to what they have to say.
Persis Irani
Age 19
Parents need to trust us more
I learnt the value of money and sharing at boarding school. That's why I'd recommend it to everyone. It makes you independent and caring. For instance, we weren't allowed chocolate, so if someone sneaked it in, we'd have to split it between 24 of us. I get Rs 11,000 as pocket money every month, in 500s every three days. I mostly spend it on travelling - if I'm seeing a friend in Ahmedabad or Pune - and eating out. It's usually at coffee shops; very rarely at clubs. Most parties are organised at a friend's place. Mom gets worried when I am out late and I understand why, but it's good that it doesn't interfere with my freedom. Our parents need to trust us more - whether it's to do with who we are out with or what we will do with our future. I am just 17. There's time.
Pallon Shroff
Age 16
Spending free time on my PS3 doesn't make me anti-social
My parents think I'm anti-social because I spend free time on the Play Station, mobile or computer. But, I'm not always playing games - the Internet is where we hang out. They want me to play outdoors and think there's no value in what I do, but that's not true. I play football for Campion, my school, and the time I have spent playing FIFA on my PS3 has enriched my real game tactics and skill. It has also helped me practice for my practical exams in PE Bio, one of my subjects.They argue about using Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram incessantly but social media is the penultimate tool to showcase your talents through virtual and real gaming. They worry a lot about online privacy on social networking sites. But, most teens are conscious of what they post, just as much as they are about how they behave in public. If mum and dad didn't fear my love for technology and instead, spent a little time learning about the online world which, unfortunately, they missed out on in childhood, that would be nice.
Rae Mulla
Age 17
Organising an interschool event isn't a waste of time
Three years ago, my school, St Mary's, launched Immaculata, an inter-school event that gets students to compete in sports, performing arts and literary skill. It's while being on the organising committee this year that I realised that parents rarely encourage extracurriculars. They think it's a waste of time, but putting it together was like a course in management. Since we were the host school, we didn't participate in competitions, but planned the two-day event from start to finish. Seventeen schools participated this year, with 2,000 students dropping in. That's huge! It took eight months of planning, conceiving events, finding sponsors, convincing the famous to judge, and do it all within a budget. It taught me confidence, decision making and team building. We do understand the importance of high grades, and we know parents worry about us figuring out what we'll do with our lives. But, in the end, they want us to live a balanced life, be responsible adults who take mature decisions, and extracurriculars helps there. That's how we'll find ourselves.
Ajab Lucknowala
Age 15
Not all of us want to shock people with what we wear
I don't flip through fashion mags; I go with my gut, and am inspired by what other teens wear. Jeans, tees and Converse shoes are my thing. My friends go shopping once every month or two; I shop once in three. What irritates me is when my mother insists I shop at Colaba Causeway, and wants to pick what I will wear. That's when we end up fighting. She thinks I should dress girly and go for the dresses-skirts look, but I love my jeans too much. I like my hair up in a ponytail; she likes it open. It's always so hot in Bombay. Each time we argue, she tells me she was an obedient daughter. But I'm not her. Perhaps she would've been different if she had the variety of options available to her like I do. Parents must realise that not all teenagers want to shock people with what they wear. Have faith and let us figure out our own style. Mum and dad don't think I'm responsible enough to be trusted with an allowance. They think I will blow up 500 a week on clothes. I probably would - I could use a crop top from Forever 21. But, if they gave me an allowance of Rs 1,500 like my friends from St Anne's get, I'd save half and spend the rest.
Khashiff Miranda
Age 19
There's pressure to 'be someone'
There's a lot of pressure to 'be someone', be successful, when we grow up. But do you give up something you love for that? I have friends who've been coerced into engineering; I'm lucky that way. To earn good money is not the only goal, I have been told. "Be happy," my parents say. What we need is an open relationship with them, one where we talk to them about all kinds of things. There are days when I have done something stupid and avoided my mother. But she can tell if I am evading a conversation. It helps that I know about her childhood. It reassures me that if she did what she did back then and turned out all right, there's a good chance I will too. Once, while going through a family album, I saw a picture of her as a five-year-old. Someone said she was very naughty. Delving into her past makes her seem more human to me. I have had friends who got into alcohol and drugs. Their parents imposed curfews, checked their bills, even had them followed. You get tagged by the company you keep. But that didn't mean you did it too. Parents need to trust us on that.
Have You Encountered Any Such Interference In Your Life? Let Us Know In The Comments Below