Pooja Bedi’s daughter Aalia, Sridevi's daughter Khushi Kapoor and Tiger Shroff’s sister Krishna Shroff, the wave of body shaming has now reached the shores of young India. On that note, we asked young adults of India to discuss the ways in which they experience body shaming and how they handle it.
Body shaming is in news again. 22-year-old model Paola Torrente, who recently finished second place in the Miss Italy 2016 competition, was body shamed for not being ‘skinny enough’ to contest in the show. It’s true that social media has given fuel to the fire of body shaming, but body shaming, per se, isn’t a new concept. We all have mastered the art of ‘putting down people’ over the ages and across the races. We do it on social media, we do it in person, we do it on chat, and we do it even without saying a word, just with a smirk.
No matter how much we hate saying this, but body shaming is here to stay because there will always be a bunch of people who will ‘treat’ their insecurities by making someone else feel insecure. The real defeat of body shamers lies in the way we handle them. Here’s what you told us.
"My friend was told that he is very thin and that he should put on some weight. After he was body shamed he tried his best to gain weight, but hasn’t been able to. He is helpless. But now he has started ignoring."
Mayank Sonone, class IX, KV-Ajni, Nagpur
My own friends taunted me for my complexion. I never thought something was wrong with my skin colour; I literally never even thought about it. So when my classmates said stuff like "you should avoid the sun, you probably don't want a tan", it made me think that maybe something was actually wrong with me. I was in 7th grade when this happened, so I got really confused because I never looked at my friends and thought about their skin colour. I had always been told to love myself, but somehow these wanton remarks about my complexion made my self-esteem plummet. I had to take a day or two off from school and I cried a lot at night. It really hurt me to think that probably people didn't like me because of my complexion, and mostly because there was nothing I could do to change it. Obviously my mom found out about the late night crying, and so the next day I talked to her. There was only one thing she said that I'll probably never forget, and that was that sometimes the fairest, most beautiful people are so hollow from inside that their beauty is, in no way, a measure of their goodness. She said that I can either let what people say affect me, so much so, that I stop functioning normally, or I could turn a deaf ear to what my immature comrades think of me, and love myself, because that's all that matters. She also told me that I should never give anybody the power to make me feel bad about myself; the only opinion that matters is mine.
Aeshna Jain, class XII, Carmel Convent School, Chandigarh
I have personally never been body shamed, but I have a friend who has been through it. She handled the situation very well. She initially played it off and called it a joke, but we know that she was upset. When she spoke to me and my other friends, it was obvious that it had bothered her. But she is a strong person, and she got over the incident pretty fast. Her family too was very supportive of her, and they have brought her up to believe that it is not the physical aspect that is important. So she did not react adversely to the incident or even afterwards. She is very body positive.
Dhrithi Arun, class IX, Vidya Shilp Academy, Bengaluru
I felt sorry for a friend who is a foody but had to give up on her favourite dishes to cut her size to drape a sari on her cousin's wedding.
Neena, class XII, Kendriya Vidyalaya, Pattom, Thiruvananthapuram
We all have different body structures. It's just what or how we are. Of course, when it comes to our bodies we can change things, but it's very difficult to change the way people look at us. I've always been a little plump, but I always admired myself, believing that all of us were different in our own way and that we should be grateful for that. But the kids in my class didn't feel the same way. On more than one occasion, I was reminded of my short height, and my general plumpness. It hurt most of the times, and every time I looked in the mirror a pang of embarrassment and disgust towards my own self hit me. The first time it happened was when I was in class 7th. It was difficult, coming out of it. But months down the line, every time someone called me fat, or anything associated with the a-little-over-usual mass on my body I started smiling, and accepting myself for who I was. Eventually, I realised my self-worth. I realised that it's okay if everyone doesn't accept your body, but once you love yourself for who you are, you can change the way people look at you. It's a long way to go, but it's worth the grin that you give yourself when you're standing in front of the mirror.
Tanvi Kulkarni, class X, Bal Shikshan Mandir, Pune
After I suffered from dengue where I almost had to take over 27 bottles of saline, I started becoming healthy. It was the side effects of taking so many bottles of saline. It was after that when people started calling me 'Moti', 'Fat , etc. Even my friends started calling me Moti Chacchi. It was very humiliating as well as embarrassing. I started hating myself and my body. I stopped going out. I didn't even attend school and just stayed back home alone. One day I thought to myself If I am comfortable with my body and if I love myself then I should hardly give a damn to what people say. It's my life. So from that very moment I decided to love myself. Even now when people say: "Tum kitni moti ho (You are so fat) I don't care. All I say is "Darling, I know that" and laugh along with them, wink and walk away. Don't let anything put you down; the society loves to bring people down.
Ayantika Dutta, class IX, Jewish Girls' School, Kolkata
I was in 6th standard that I had been undergoing hormonal changes and so I had put up a lot of weight. For which I used to get teased and made fun of every time. Being young I couldn't take it. I used to hate doing any physical activity in the school as boys and girls around me would make fun of my moves. I quitted dancing as my friends used to tell me that I looked ugly while I danced. For a while I had stopped public interactions and lacked confidence to even walk properly. The thought that some would make fun of me would keep me away from being me. After I changed my school, I met a teacher who had a pretty dark skin colour. She told me how she body shaming affects us and how we can deal with it. From that day, I just built up on my confidence.
Lamis Khokar, class IX, H.M.N English High School, Mumbai
Share your experiences of body shaming. How you handle them? What you think of body-shamers?
Top 7 body shaming Twitter phrases
1. Lose weight
2. Stop eating
3. Hit the gym
4. Fatso
5. Big boned
6. Fat boy
7. Fatty
What Body-Shamed Celebrities Have Said
Parineeti Chopra: “This (body shaming) will soon become a past. Everything comes in phases. If you yourself are not comfortable about your body, do something about it. If you are comfortable, let it be. Other people have no right to comment anyway.”
Zareen Khan: “Inspite of being so big I never let people’s comments or ideas about me bother me. Because it’s my life and my body and only I have the right to decide what I’m gonna do with it.”
Brilliant, how Khushi Kapoor handled body shaming
I post my pictures because I feel good and confident. I put out these pictures not because I want to show off or try to be anyone or anything else. I have my own sense of style and my own way to think and me putting out a picture that's accessible to so many people is taken more of an opportunity to judge me or my looks, clothes or anything else. I put something out there because it's something I feel good about, everyone is entitled to have their own opinion but putting someone else down because of it is not making you any better of a person. Please think twice before you decide to comment something rude or offensive, it's not a joke. It's sad how in this day and age where feminism is finally getting the attention it deserves, girls still feel the need to tear each other down and indulge in body shaming. I don't care if you think my stomach pops out or if I don't fit into your idea of beautiful, but for your own conscience please realize that having such narrow minded opinions of people makes you an ugly person inside. I truly believe everyone is beautiful in their own way, why can't we all celebrate that and encourage each other. There is only one of you, embrace your beauty, and don't rain on my parade when I'm confident enough to embrace mine. I hope that whatever it is that frustrates you enough to be so cruel will one day go away, because some people might actually take your snide remarks seriously, and I know from experience it can hurt. Let's be kind to one another, love always x
A photo posted by Khushi Kapoor☽ (@khushikapoorr) on